big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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