Non-Jews are for practice
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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