I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
