How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
