carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
