Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
