No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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