The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
