Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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