wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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