Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
