Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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