Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
