If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
