i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
