yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
