I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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