nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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