sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
