Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
