i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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