It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
