After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
