i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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