I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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