Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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