His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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