Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish you could order shots online.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
