I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
