Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
sex in a hospital.. check
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
