i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize