He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
