yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i would one night stand the shit outta him
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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