i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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