Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
