I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
