dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
