I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
