and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
