shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
