Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
