Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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