I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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