I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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