im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
