Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
