Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
