You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
