I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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