I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
