if you like me you must not know who I am
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
