You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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