I faked an abortion last night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
