I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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