$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm at about main and main street
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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