As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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