I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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