yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
