can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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