couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
