Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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